It was the cultural touchstone for a generation, the reason I was late for work when I lived near Times Square for a couple of years and I had to wade through the throngs of screaming preteens begging & clamoring for a glimpse through the second-floor window of whassisface from 98 Degrees or whatsername from that Disney show, not that one but the other one, no no no, you know who I’m talking about. Man, times none of us will ever forget, things those people will go home to their places where people are sensible and rational and grow old, and tell their grandkids about. God’s children, every one of us.

Over the entire run of TRL, I watched, cumulatively, a grand total of about 40 seconds of it. That includes clicking past it to get to something else, all the time I spent loitering in TV showrooms (handy hint: talk about a great place to meet people!), the occasional DVR leftover from when I was wanting to watch — oh, okay, I have never DVR’d anything on MTV. I’m just trying to be nice. But yeah, if I’ve watched an entire minute of TRL over the course of my (and its) life, that would be more than I thought.

But I will miss it. Because now, Carson Daly now has no fallback position, and when his show gets cancelled*, he’ll be up for the same temp jobs I’m going for, and that would be bad.

I will miss it because now all those teenpop would-bes are going to spill into other shows I actually watch, like Jeopardy! or Washington Week In Review or Antiques Roadshow or Billy Mays commercials. And really, that’s no good for anyone concerned, especially me. And Billy Mays.

I will miss it because it kept a significant group of obnoxious truants, hoodlums, ne’er-do-wells and — and other people I have been in my life — in a clear and easily-avoidable place in the city for a couple of hours every day, and now they’re gong to be infesting every corner of town, including and especially the places I go to in my daily travels. Again, nobody really wants that.

I understand the vagaries of ratings and market demand and corporate branding and the economy and all the other reasons shows like this bubble up and then fade back into the flotsam of the television world. But today, the world of popular culture is a little less spangled, and for that, as a species, we are poorer.

* Is that even still on? That’s another show I’ve never seen, wouldn’t know where to find, and have no real desire to find out about. I don’t hate Carson like some people I know do. It’s just that this world actually is big enough for the two of us. Does my apathy make me a bad person?

I won’t say anything about the difficulty level.

[via Paul Lukas]

In an article in this week’s New Yorker

In the article, he recounts in great detail the conversations he had with the producers of the show, his lack of awareness that game shows were anything other than fixed (the TV game show format was still in its infancy at the time, and Van Doren didn’t even own a television himself when they asked him to be on the show; he rationalized the deception at first by comparing game shows to Shakespearian theater), the arguments he had with his wife over whether to go through with it, and the atmosphere in the studio, with him, Herb Stempel, the returning champion he was brought on specifically to beat, and host Jack Barry, and the long aftermath after his run on the show, where he at first perjures himself and then slowly comes clean over the ensuing decades, wrestling with the decisions he made then right up to this day.

It’s detailed and doesn’t flinch at some of the more unsavory bits. It’s well worth the read. Ultimately, everyone seems to have learned their lesson and made out okay: Herb Stempel is still teaching part-time in New York, Jack Barry eventually made it back to hosting shows such as The Joker’s Wild and Tic Tac Dough, and Van Doren never stopped teaching, even as he tried, with some success, to fade away into obscurity.

Nash and Thompson are great; in fact, to my thinking, they fit better within this framework than even Silverman and Macdonald do. Rashida Jones I don’t know as well, as I don’t watch The Office, but fine, benefit of the doubt, clearly she must have some chops, etc.

Super Dave, though? Super Dave Osborne? In character? Does anybody remember his show? Do you remember how awful it was? The nonexistent pacing, the complete lack of punchlines, the monotony, and that was 20 years ago. I understand he comes from comedy royalty, but — color me skeptical. Besides, I think they really should leave a slot or two open for rotating guests, especially non-comedians who can roll with these things. A Matt Lauer, a Richard Hatch, a Liz Hasselbeck, an Anderson Cooper, people like that. (You just know Joel McHale wanted in on this.)

And comic-without-portfolio Andrew Daly gets to try out the long microphone. He’d be fine. That’s a safe choice.

Buzzerblog is pleased with the lineup, but I think they’re merely closer to having it together.

Updates as I find them. You’re welcome.

Still no host or anyone else on the panel, but still, they needed to have those two chairs filled early on, so I’m glad they’ve at least made a decision.

What this says about the tone of the show bothers me a little bit. Not that either of them is unfunny, or are two left feet in the improv department (though I admit I have my concerns about Silverman; her standup act doesn’t change much from year to year these days), but they do have a history of not fully connecting with a full mainstream audience. I just have this vision in my mind of Macdonald going off the deep end one show and answering “PENIS” to every blank and derailing the show. He does stuff like that everywhere he goes, and I can’t shake it.

I’m sure my concerns are completely unfounded, and the rest of the panel will provide genial and accessible counterpoint to these two, letting them run wild over the set the way Brett and Charles did back in the glory days of this show, and the writers, whose setup questions were the real backbone of the show, will deliver fantastic questions that lend themselves to multiple interpretations and are still softballs for the panel. And I’m sure a large part of my suspicion is just me being possessive of the legacy of the single greatest crap game show in the history of crap. And I know, above all else, that the essence of comedy is danger, and Silverman and Macdonald were both hired because of their ”they-said-what?” factor.

But the first time Sarah Silverman writes “niggers” on a card and slips it into the slot, I may die a little inside.

I think I understand the Unabomber now.

Help me kill American Idol. If you’re a weird freak with a debatable talent, write me at gongshowcasting@aol.com.

I know some people who need to give this a shot, somehow. Get on it, people. America needs you now, more than ever.

I’m glad he won, but I’m also glad I did better than he did. It means I’ve got something on him, which is frankly all I care about.

Barris was a crazed genius, as anyone who read his amazing autobiography (or saw his biopic) knows, but shows like The Newlywed Game & The Dating Game went over because Chuck was active and hands-on in every part of the show, either behind the scenes or in front of the camera. I don’t know how connected he’s going to be to the current version of The Gong Show, but it can’t be as much as thirty years ago. It’s still going to sink or swim based on how well the new host and the panel treats it.

Oh yeah, the new host of The Gong Show? Dave Attell.

Like that choice or not, they had to give him another show. Insomniac was a modest hit shot on a tiny budget, and which really had its moments. (And Comedy Central gave Lewis Black a show, which was also deserved, even if it’s currently sucking and sinking under its own stupidly tight premise. Everyone involved with that show deserves better.)

I like Attell, though I’ll need to be convinced.

So, given that the host is set, who would be good to be on the panel? I have some ideas. Past the usual Daily Show alumni, Friars Club regulars and Best Week Ever retreads, who would be able to properly and entertainingly wield a mallet on the new Gong Show?

Here’s who I’m thinking would be good at it, and would also be willing to try it (I’ll add to this list, but it’s a start):

• Arianna Huffington
• Tucker Carlson
• Quincy Jones
• Toby Keith
• Kelly Andrews (the female announcer from The Soup)
• Jocelyn Wildenstein
• John Daly
• Madeline Albright
• George Takei (or Leonard Nimoy, come to think of it; Shatner’s too hammy)
• Tonya Harding
• Busta Rhymes

Feel free to add to this list if you’re so moved.

This is a commercial program, so I’m not allowing it to be downloaded, but if you want to play along & see how many of the 12 questions you’d get right, well, here it is.

Cash Cab (My Segment) from tonyhightower on Vimeo.

I wouldn’t have shared this if I hadn’t at least done well.