Halloween Constume Ideas For Those Who Don’t Want To Be Sarah Palin Like Everyone Else Will Be This Year
I am providing these as a public service. It’s important to note that this is a comprehensive list; if you don’t find a costume that is appropriate for your needs on this list, consider it a sign that maybe you should stay in on October 31 with the lights out and catch up on your Bartlett’s.
Which is what I’ll be doing.
- sexy chicken
- sexy refrigerator
- sexy BLT
- sexy Buick LeSabre
- sexy racist John McCain supporter
- sexy wheelbarrow
- sexy parked car
- sexy bag of Cheez Doodles
- sexy Grimace (from McDonaldland)
- sexy topographic map of the floor of New York Harbor
- sexy Tom Brokaw
- sexy bowling alley
- sexy Metamucil container
- sexy steroid syringe
- sexy blueprint of an I.M. Pei building
- sexy votive candle
- sexy Trivial Pursuit game piece
- sexy gas pump
- sexy Zamboni (with or without driver)
- sexy Juan Valdez
- sexy bowl of Lipton onion soup
- sexy copy of the 9/11 Commission Final Report
- sexy bath mat
- sexy Season four DVD collection of “House”
- sexy drunk person in street clothes wrapped head to toe in toilet paper
- sexy despondent bond trader
- sexy Billy Mays
- sexy boil-in-the-bag mashed potatoes
- sexy pair of clown pants
- sexy George Washington wig
- Nicole Richie
That’s it. You’re welcome.
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October 13th, 2008 at 3:29 pm
I’ve got the “topographic map of the floor of New York Harbor” down cold, but any ideas on how I pull off the “sexy” part? So far all I’ve got for ideas are shaving my legs and wearing a medical-waste-shaped toe ring.
October 13th, 2008 at 3:30 pm
Isn’t the “sexy” implied in “Billy Mays”?
(This comment de-capitalized via the BILLY MAYS ONLINE TRANSLATOR YOWZA)
October 13th, 2008 at 3:33 pm
Vidiot, just be yourself, baby. Let the harbor do the work. (I learned that trick from Rita Hayworth.)
And Tom, it’s all in the angle of the beard-sculpt. And never forget to BE LOUD, as everyone needs to hear you and those microphones don’t work.
October 13th, 2008 at 3:49 pm
How about (sexy) Coefficient of Friction? Friend one year went to a party as such.
October 13th, 2008 at 3:54 pm
In theory, sure, but you gotta have a lot of velcro to make that costume signify, holmes. Also, be sure that frottage is not a felony in your district.