In October 2007, during a fit of quixotic hubris, I began a recap project for the VH1 reality show America’s Most Smartest Model. What I started as a lark has become serial long-form meditation on the vacuity of modern culture and what it means to be beautiful, as told through the eyes, abs and bolt-on breasts of a dozen or so models who think they’re pretty, or smart, or both. It may be setting the bar a little low to say that the recaps are not only more interesting than the show, but they also include within them every single meaningful moment of Ben Stein’s most auspicious cultural invasion yet. Then again, no one ever went broke underestimating the American Public. Except me.
To get to know the characters, start with Episode 1 and follow it through. There are navigation links on each page of the story. It really is worth the read.
- A Special Note About The AMSM Recaps
- Episode 1: Pilot
- Episode 2: I Will Gladly Pay You Tuesday For A Pair Of Breast Cutlets Today
- Episode 3: Sound, Fury, Signifying Nothing, etc, etc
- A Retraction, Of Sorts
- Episode 4: The Sounds Of Science
- Episode 5: Come On, Come On, Touch Me, Babe
- Episode 6: You Can’t Fix Stupid
- Episode 7: Get Outta My Way, Son, You’re Using My Oxygen
- Episode 8: Dear God Himself And All His Armies
- Episode 9: Pickel’s Gosh-Damned Disembodied Head
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